Dear Perfectionism - Emily Grabatin

Today you inspired my gratitude list.

I thought it may as well since you get a bad rap. And rightly so. If you were put on trial, you could be charged for slave labour, thievery, harassment, sabotage, and cohersion.

You’re a mean one, disguised in a pretty promise. My soul briefly believed it would be satisfied and complete when you deliver what you offer. Yet in the next breathe you berate me when I don’t come close achieving the standard you set.

Since I’m beckoned to be grateful in all things, and too many studies show I’ll feel better about myself and my life if I do, today I’ll be grateful for you.

Because of you, my bathroom cupboards are decluttered. I finally threw out that shampoo that makes my hair gross instead of wondering where to donate a half used bottle. I’ll be stepping on 10 fewer toys after my daughter’s bath. And I can see the bottom of my cupboards.

Because of you, my daughter and her friend got to play, giggle and paint their nails in the pink princess tent I set up in our living room.

Because of you, I saw beauty in what could be possible for the struggling clients who’ve been on my heart today.

Because of you, my kitchen is cleaner than normal – and the peace tidiness bestows makes me happy.

Because of you, I discovered a new podcast that intrigued me while I was cleaning the bathroom cupboard.

Because of you, I felt fear of making a poor choice and remembered with compassion that others are burdened with the same feelings.

Today was lovely, Perfectionism. And so was your sidekick, Procrastination. But tomorrow it’s time to imperfectly get back to writing my book and planning my next steps, so we’ll have to part ways again.

I’ve already decided to own my path and my calling, so it’s not fair for you to take the blame for it not working out. We just can’t hang out anymore. It’s not you, it’s me. I accept my divine assignments, wrestle procrastination to the ground and take better action without you at my heels or in my ear. Losing out on what I could create and who I could help isn’t worth our friendship.

So long.

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